


kneel into a dream.

by sondersoflight



Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: Groundhog Day AU, M/M, Unbetaed we die like men, but just a heads up they do die several times, i didn't use the character death warning because they are not really dead, this is so self indugent its well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24863419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sondersoflight/pseuds/sondersoflight
Summary: “This island has cursed me.” Rafe says on day 20 as soon as Nadine walks into his tent. “Please murder me now.”“I suspect that would please you too much for me to comply.”
Relationships: Rafe Adler/Samuel Drake
Comments: 4
Kudos: 109





	kneel into a dream.

**Author's Note:**

> me re-playing uncharted 4 during quarantine: hope this doesn't awaken anything in me. but it did! so this self indulgent piece came out. all the mistakes are mine - apologies for those english is not my first language. title is from "least of all" by natalie wee.

_I kneel into a dream where I_

_am good and loved. I am_

_good. I am loved. My hands have_

_made some good mistakes. They can always_

_make better ones._

Rafe wakes up in an uncomfortable cot in the midst of humid heat.

He can’t get air into his lungs fast enough; he is used to nightmares, but his brain rarely needs to make up new horrors as it goes. There is plenty in his past to fodder through. But that had not felt like it – it had felt real. Instinctively he reaches down to his stomach and lifts his t-shirt. The cut had felt real but there is no scar.

Nadine walks into his tent, gun tucked at her hip. She stops when she gets one good look at his face.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

Rafe doesn’t answer.

“Look Rafe,” she says after a minute “The Drake’s are close. Once my men capture them we might-“

“Permit me to doubt that.” Rafe says but his hands are still shaking a bit.

Nadine’s face hardens. “Maybe we will run into them.” She says and she places her hand over her gun. “I won’t hesitate. I wish I could say the same for you.”

Rafe curls his hand into a fist. He doesn’t like what Nadine tries to imply into all of their conversations. It’s obvious she suspects something, of what was going on before she got on board.

“I would shoot them both on sight given the chance.” Rafe murmurs. “Your men are the ones that have failed to kill them over and over.”

Nadine snorts. “Don’t act smart with me Rafe.” She mutters. “You have dragged my men from continent to continent asking them to lay down their lives – ordered to have Sam brought back alive-“

“I’m done with this conversation Nadine.” Rafe mutters. “I’ll meet you outside.”

His hands are still shaking when Nadine walks out of the tent.

-

The rest of the day is a blur – Rafe enjoys more than he had in his dream to look at Nathan’s face when he says “ _He did it all with me_.”

He shoots Nathan and he takes Sam and in the end all he sees is a net filled with gold falling down on him.

He wakes up gasping for air.

It’s all wrong – he thinks and a second later Nadine walks in. He’s already lived through this. He knows what will happen.

He doesn’t entertain her – he only wants to get off this cursed island as soon as possible.

-

Rafe wakes up gasping for air.

It’s day 7. He’s lived through this.

Nadine walks in.

“I don’t have time for this.” Is all he says.

He still dies.

-

On day 10 Nathan tries to push Sam out of the way when Rafe is mid-shot and the bullet ends up accidentally lodged between Sam’s eyes.

He doesn’t even try to fight when Nathan runs at him – knocks him down. His head hits a rock and it all goes black.

-

On day 15 Rafe is annoyed. The sun is too hot, the weather is too humid.

He is desperate to figure out how to get out of this endless loop. When they find Sam and Nathan – all he wants to do is ask all the questions that have been pressing against his ribcage for the past three months.

“Why did you leave?” He says as soon as Sam comes into view, holding Nadine to gunpoint.

Nadine opens her eyes comically wide and he can see her men looking at each other – confused.

They are all hearing what he is really asking – _Why did you leave me?_

“I –“ Sam says and for a moment something flashes across his eyes . that looks so familiar Rafe almost wants to scream.

“I think now is not the time for –“ Nadine says but she’s interrupted.

“What is he talking about?” Nathan says to his brother looking confused.

“Your brother hasn’t told you what we’d been doing?” Rafe asks and the look of panic in Sam’s face is so much better – so reflective of how Rafe had felt that morning he woke up to a cold bed and empty apartment. “He played house with me until he had something and then he left me to go look for you.”

Sam looks conflicted for a second and Nadine quickly elbows him in the stomach and grabs the gun, pushing him to the ground.

It doesn’t feel better to half say it out loud. At the end of the day – he still dies in a burning ship.

-

Day 17.

“The whole time you were getting beat up in jail guess what we were doing?” Rafe tries and he sees Sam’s eyes widen. “We were fucking Nathan.”

Nathan looks like he is about to laugh but then he looks at Sam and he drops his jaw a bit.

“Guess what we’ve been doing for the past two years?”

He hears the gunshot before he feels it – a hot red spot going through his back. He falls to the floor a second later and he hears one of Nadine’s men say he’s done it because Rafe had finally lost it.

The last thing he feels before he dies are Sam’s hands on his face.

-

“This island has cursed me.” Rafe says on day 20 as soon as Nadine walks into his tent. “Please murder me now.”

“I suspect that would please you too much for me to comply.” Nadine says but she looks a bit confused. “We have located the Drake’s.”

“FUCK!” Rafe screams – then realizes it’s probably not considered a socially appropriate reaction.

“You better end this Rafe.” Nadine says. “One way or another.”

Rafe wishes he knew how.

-

On day 22 as soon as Nadine is out of the way Rafe leaps towards Sam dropping his gun in the process and kisses him – all open mouthed and biting.

He draws blood from Sam’s bottom lip and he can feel Sam’s confusion, the tension in his hands where he holds Rafe’s body. Sam tastes like cigarettes and salt water, just like he had three months ago and before that. A second later Sam kisses him back.

It’s worth the bullet Nadine puts through his chest.

-

“You need us.” Nathan says on day 25 and it enrages him just the same as it had on the first day.

“Shut up.” Rafe says and he looks between the two brothers – knows Nadine is standing behind him and her gun can turn on him as quickly as she wills it to.

 _Don’t shoot him._ He thinks. _For one day – don’t shoot him._

He lowers his gun.

“They’re right.” He says to Nadine. “Both of you – walk.”

Nadine pulls her gun from the holster and points or Sam and Nathan to start walking down the path ahead.

Rafe hurries along, doesn’t miss the way Sam continues to look over his shoulder to try and catch a glimpse of Rafe. He looks puzzled and Rafe understands obviously. He has not been living through the same day for almost a month.

“I hope you know what you are doing.” Nadine mutters.

-

They lose Nadine when they go down into Avery’s fucking catacombs, with bomb mummies and fucking death traps everywhere. She gets stuck with her two bodyguards behind a wall of rock.

“Sam let’s go.” Nathan says not even five minutes later. “Just knock him out! This is our chance.”

Sam is holding up a torch, the fire dancing across his face.

“I can still hear you, you know.” Rafe mutters. “He’s right Samuel. This is your one shot.”

But Sam looks confused – he turns back and he walks closer to Rafe trying to get the light to fall across his face.

“What are you doing?” He asks, suspicious.

“Sam,” Nathan says sounding somewhere between confused and desperate. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t care anymore Samuel.” Rafe sighs. “You can leave and you can go take that fucking treasure with you.”

“What?” Sam almost yells.

“That sounds like a good idea –“ Nathan tries to chime in but his brother continues to talk over him.

“What is wrong with you?” This treasure is all you cared about for over a decade!” Sam steps even closer now, the flames from his torch coming dangerously close to Rafe’s hair.

“I’ve decided I’m not interested anymore.” Rafe says. He knows Sam won’t be satisfied with that, but he doesn’t know what else to say that won’t make him sound like he is crazy. He probably is at this point.

“I’m not buying that sweetheart,” Sam says, slipping casually into the pet name as if nothing has passed between them and they are still in some small apartment Rafe rented back in Scotland.

“You are so fucking annoying.” Rafe mutters, he feels the familiar hot white rage crawling up his spine. “You are the most frustrating person alive! I’m literally giving you and your fucking stupid brother an out before Nadine’s trained army finds the dynamite and blow this whole place up and shoot through you and you want to know what is wrong with _me_?”

“Sam I really think it’s a good idea to –“

“I’m tired! I want off this fucking island once and for all!” Rafe says while he pushes the stray hair out of his face. “It was never the treasure I ever wanted you idiot! It was the recognition and then I just wanted your attention!”

Rafe steps back as soon as the words are out of his mouth – his cheeks feel hot. He suddenly can’t wait until this day is over and he wakes up again in his tent – where no one remembers this.

“Um-“ Nathan says – and seriously can he shut his fucking mouth?

Sam looks startled, even more than he had on all previous tries when Rafe had punched him straight on the nose.

The silence ticks by, one second then two and then Sam drops the torch to the floor, the light falling away from their faces and he takes two steps forward, grabbing Rafe by the face and kissing him.

He can hear Nathan’s strangled noise in the background but all he can focus on is how Sam thumb moves over his cheek – his teeth biting into Rafe’s lips desperately. Sam is muttering something against his lips but he can’t make out any of it.

“Um, guys we should –“

There is a sound of an explosion and the rocks around them tremble.

“We should really get –“ Nathan tries again.

Rafe pulls away. “You should listen to your brother.”

“Oh, now I should listen to him.” Sam teases and Rafe makes a ridiculous sound – not a giggle. Rafe Adler does not giggle.

-

(Later – when they are already in a plane being flown by Victor fucking Sullivan after being rescued by Nathan’s wife, who appears to be a much more capable and competent human being than his husband, Rafe lets Sam wrap him in a blanket and closes his eyes, dropping his head on the other’s shoulder.

Nathan must think he is asleep because he says – tries to whisper. “How long has this been going on?”

Sam makes a weird sound but he doesn’t say anything.

“Since he got you out?” Nathan must see something strange on his brother’s face. “Before that? Is that what you were always busy with while I was getting the shit beat out of me in Panama?”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Sam scoffs. “You didn’t have to get in those fights.”

“I can’t believe you.” Nathan says but he sounds like he is teasing. “I was in there being used as a punching bag for everyone in the yard and you were off having the time of your life.”

Elena laughs softly in the background.

“I was,” Sam says, and Rafe can tell by the shift in position that Sam’s eyes are on him now. And he almost wants to punch Sam for being so fucking cheesy “I really was.”)

-

When Rafe wakes up next, he is in a hotel room somewhere in Marruecos and Sam snores lightly besides him.


End file.
